Thursday, March 28, 2019

Death in my life

Death. Why fear it? It's with me since the time I am born. It's the only reality ever constantly consistently present in my life with my life.

Death, The mysterious companion in my life, makes me enjoy every moment of my time here and now with more excitement. Death's only embrace which will make me feel peace in my soul.

Will I ever be able to explain my Death's love for me? Express my complete surrender in Death, to feel bliss, to sleep forever?

I am waiting. I am searching. I am........


I am neither depressed nor suicidal. In my teens I used to write poetry. Felt like writing again. 🙂💐🙏🏻

Monday, March 25, 2019

Purushardhams - Principles of Human Life

Indian society is one of the oldest in the world. Cohabitation, society structure, means of living, conducting of business, being with nature, physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing, and all and everything about man and his purpose of life on earth are being meditated on, understood truly and the essence was passdown to generations, to explore and to understand and to experience and to improvise. The principles, the ideas, the rules, the regulations the values carry the same set of basics and roots for a balanced public and private life of all individuals.

These Purushardhas, are handed down over centuries for a man or a woman to conduct their life meaningfully in the society. Purusha = man, ardha = meaning > purushardha means meaningful man or perhaps essences that makes a man's existence meaningful. 

The first is Dharmam. Conduct. About life in general in the form of physical body. A set of rules defining One's conduct towards himself/herself, society, relations, nature, ancestors, future, God, universe. . . .  These rules keeps a man on track to reach his end days without regrets. Gives perspective to his life. Sages, gurus, preachers, elders and all are even today still defining and refining the code of conduct trying to make sense in changing times. Its a single tree of Sanatana dharmam - a way of life. Same roots. However, its leaves, branches, flowers, fruits, fragrance and aura are many varieties and kinds and types that someone coming under it to explore will be confused and may become judgmental. 

Ramayana, MahaBharata, Bhagavata, puranas, vedas, etihasas all about Dharmam. The stories, the characters, the timelines . . all have hidden sutras that one lifetime is not enough to understand the true meaning of one line in one book. This one aspect touches base with all the other three. Gives a hint of the other three.

Ardham is the second and in modern times the most important. Deals with money, wealth, power. These set of rules preach about everything materialistic in this world. The worldly possessions and their aura with a power to bind a soul for eternity. Kautilya's Ardha sastra is one of the well known and somehow defined Ardham according to the purushardha theme. Wealth can bring in power, friends, momentary satisfaction, happiness etc. However, knowingly managing it, cautiously escaping it's tentacles to save sanity, and understanding its enormous power over man is what one has to learn, understand and master in one's life. Managing wealth according to Dharma, the first principle of life is a man's ultimate goal.

Kamam is the third and most important principle in a man's life. Kamam is defined simply as wish. A wish. It can be physical like food, sleep, sex, relaxation, ornaments, decoratives or psychological like fulfillment, satisfaction or spiritual like attaining nirvana, achieving moksha. After repeated foreign invasions, developing hybridized philosophies because of alien ideologies, the simple word kamam got stuck with physical attribution - sex. The learned became busy with the thoughts of finding ways for cultural survival and religious integrity that defining one principle and reviving true meaning of it seemed trivial. 

Vatsayana, one sage in the entire history of Sanatana Dharma, made an attempt to define and state rules for this most important dharmam in a man's life. Unfortunately, under western rule culture and ideologies, the book was made a x-rated barbaric uncultured erotic manifestation of human physical desires. Sadly, nobody gave a thought on why Vatsayana, a sage, an atheist, a man who in his entire life never touched a woman or man or entertained thoughts of physical pleasure, wrote a book on Kamam? Did he talked only about intercourse between two bodies? What is it that Vatsayana's entire book of KamaSutra (Principles of Desire) talk about? What are the principles and rules that were studied and given to a man to follow to fulfill his desires? Time to step back and revisit the book, the times,  the philosophy of Kamam in the lines of Sanatana Dharmam. 

Mokham, the final and last principle for a man. In his life, he followed dharmam, conducted his life as per the set of rules given to him by society. He has good relationship with neighbours, family, friends, colleagues, society, nature, elders, youngsters, lovers, partners, . . . . , His Ardham was earned following dharmam. Very rightfully. No cheating, no fraud, no lies. Everything is pure. He fulfilled his kamam through fulfilling dreams, wishes, physical, psychological, and now he earned his right to step into Mokha sadhana. 

At this stage, his body, completely satisfied, his mind, free of disturbing thoughts, are now ready to focus within undefined unexplored subconscious mind to understand his existence in this universe.  This is where he will get a chance to practice meditation that he has been hearing. This is where he will get complete satisfaction which he had a chance to experience during his pleasure journey without any external influence. This is his final place to understand the meaning or meaningless journey he had all the time time till then.

Saturday, March 16, 2019

Pet relocation


Since November 2018 we are trying to bring our two babies from Singapore to India. I have changed 3 agents since. The main reason initially was told that many airlines are not accepting snub nosed dogs for transport. Reasons we gathered from the agents and airlines staff:

1. A few dogs died as the air crafts are not suitable for transporting snub nosed dogs in cargo.
2.  Staff forgot about the dogs in crates when they are left under the sun and the pets died.
3. Pilot forgot about the dogs in the hold while adjusting the air pressure during flights which caused the dogs to die.
4. Few dogs went missing and the general belief is that they were sold as delicacy in many countries. (i puked at the thought)
5. Too much work and responsibility for the airlines staff as almost all the airlines do not have a specific department to handle pets.
6. All sorts of pets except teeny-tiny pocket size, are no longer allowed in any international airlines as excess baggage.

I felt sad as the airlines are forgetting that pets are like family to many! My babies are six years old and they are like my children. I understand their needs and I am like their mom. Like an airlines staff suggested, it is difficult for me to give them up for adoption. The thought itself makes me cry.

Imagine People who had to relocate to another place for work had to give up their children for adoption. Doesn't it sound barbaric?

All the dog lovers, hold on to your love of having your own. If you are crazy, take dog walk as a part-time to play with a cute one or visit a pet shelter to do some volunteering work.

If airlines doesn't work, my next action will be to reach my home town Hyderabad, India via road. A long one. Hope my little ones will be ok.

Wish me luch.

Thursday, March 14, 2019

Life is Challenging

Is it really challenging? What IS challenging?

Some people get everything they want in life. Some get everything they want with some work and planning. Some need to work a little more than others around them to get what they want. For some, its hard work, perseverance, determination, just bulls work to get what they need to survive in their life.

Everyone feels life is challenging depending on their mind set and physical stamina. Now a days its challenging as the people around are becoming more insensitive, inconsiderate, judgmental, opinionated, fixated etc.

I have to work hard for simple things. Sometimes, what seems an easy task for others, doesn't work for me. What is hard for others, for me it turns out to be a very easy task. I struggled hard as long as I listened to others around me who kept judging my dynamics as Challenging. As I started understanding life, I looked at people who sowed the seeds in my brain and realised that it was THEIR belief that they wanted me to see. It is their life they wanted me to fit into. The hurdles I faced were CHALLENGING for them as they don't have the mindset or stamina to withstand and survive or find a solution or work it out!

I am simply different. I am just living my life as it is supposed to be. Enjoying it and at its own pace. I have a life and mindset that is different from others. Just like one of my fingers, I may be strong, supportive and sturdy and sutle  and sensitive  . .  whatever it is, I am different.

I think different. I live different. My believes are different. I accept my life as it is as God's gift. 

You too think and develop a sense of self-worth and live your life!

Judgemental

Sometimes I wonder about people and their quite natural way of judging others or their own life. Is it possible that we can simply lead our life without judging anything or anyone?

I went to visit my friends, a couple, along with another friend and his new wife. Absolutely good time. Laughed and talked about their cute little three year old. Time flew and we had to leave. Suddenly a name popped up (let's say L). A person who was on everyone's nerves. Everyone's keeping quite and tolerating because of her age and with a sense of giving her space, a sort of "respect". However, my both guy friends talked about her recent episode and just laughed away.

On the way back, my friend's new wife, let's call her A, pointed out to the conversation about L. She continued to say how rude it is to talk about L when she is not around and more over, pointing out to her behaviour is very wrong as no one should be judgmental. If there is an issue with anyone, we should talk to the person and try to understand their point or make the person understand how uncomfortable everyone is around.

I was quite impressed with her speech. 100% agreed to her view of how we should not talk about people behind their back etc etc till...........

She started talking about the friends we visited and how untidy the house was!!!

The first reason we visited our friends was, the entire family, husband, wife and the three year old son fell sick for almost a month because of some viral infection and still recovering!!!! They all looked washed out and we admired the wife as she single-handedly managing to bring them back on tracks!

Now, I started wondering about this absolutely wonderful lady sitting in the passenger seat, till then talking about how rude we were all commenting about an old lady and passed a judgement that we were completely unethical!! I wanted to know more about her view on this "Unethical" ways of us talking about someone when she was not present and how different it is from what she commenting about our friend's wife who couldn't keep her house tidy.

I think, our A should have said the same to our friend's wife abt how untidy the house was. How our friend's wife failed to manage her house. Why didn't she do that? Why A felt that her comments on someone are justified and why not ours?

Many a times,  in general, we tolerate certain behaviour of people we know. It doesn't mean we accept their behaviour. Many a times, this tolerance becomes a sort of habit. Simple norm of society and human behaviour is not to hurt anyone intentionally.

Who is judgmental here? Us, who didn't want to hurt an old lady but couldn't help sharing our comfortableness with each other, or lady A who knowing the challenges of others still started commenting about some material facts?